Super-size My Language!

I’ve noticed a tendency to be verbose of late, and it’s actually a fairly disturbing trend. Its most recent form, at least the one that’s been on my radar most of late, is the propensity to improperly modify words in an effort to sound more intense. For example, I recently heard “extremely critical” and often hear “more unique” (or “most unique”).* And just today I heard someone on NPR say “very ubiquitous.” Now, when I hear things like this, all I can think of is The Princess Bride: “I do not think it means what you think it means.” (Except, unlike Inigo, I know the word’s being used incorrectly. Or, at least, modified unnecessarily.) I really think a lot of people need to look up what words mean, so they can use them properly.

Another, related linguistic gripe I have is the often unnecessary repetition because people don’t know what acronyms mean: PIN number, please RSVP, ATM machine, etc. It really should stop. Take a moment to expand them: "personal identification number number," "please respond if you please" (ok, so that one takes a little translation, too...). Then again, it can be a source of endless amusement. Think about it — when people ask “Where is the ATM machine?” they’re really looking for a machine that dispenses ATMs.

Now, this is not in student papers — it’s mostly in conversation, either in the media (TV, radio) or in person, usually conversations I overhear, rather than ones I participate in. I have read many papers where the students should have their thesaurus taken away, and where they are verbose for the sake of meeting a page requirement. I know many of the reasons for this effort, even if I try to urge honesty in their paper’s voice — writing much like they talk, or at least with a similar vocabulary. But that’s a topic for another post.

Of course, I am familiar with the argument that this is just a facet of the evolution of our language, and that I should just relax and accept it. But you know what? I see it as a devolution of the ability of people to understand their own language. And when we no longer understand the words we share, when we can no longer agree on meaning, that’s a problem, because the language itself is then an impediment to communication, not a tool to facilitate it. Now, we’re far from the end of the utility of English, and I don’t want to sound like Chicken Little. The sky is not falling, and we have a long way to go before we’re not communicating through a shared language. But if “unique” no longer means “one of a kind,” when the unique item no longer has status as a distinctly singular object, then we need a new word to replace “unique.” So... what is it? I’ve heard nothing. Just that “this” is more unique than “that” — which is, according to my dictionary, impossible.

If you don’t know what these ”big words” and acronyms mean, stop using them — to those who do know them, you sound like an idiot. And those that don’t are not worth amazing with such simple (and misguided) linguistic feats.

* I would like to point out that while one cannot logically increase something’s uniqueness, it can be decreased: an object can be “almost unique,” but not “more unique.” I have no problem with that.